Friday, June 15, 2012

I want you to know...

It has taken me a long time to be comfortable with who I am. But, here I am at age 38, and I can finally say with 100% honesty love me or hate me, take me or leave me, it doesn't matter to me. Here are a few of the "life lessons" I've learned that I want my kids to know.

Be you.
I know, this seems to be an obvious one but how many people can honestly say that they are true themselves all of the time? I know for a long time I couldn't. I tried to change my look, my hair, my clothes, the way I behaved -- all in an attempt to fit in. But at the end of the day I wasn't being me. So, it should have come as no surprise when the people I changed for or no longer my friends because their friendship wasn't with me, it was with an alternate version of me.

Don't try to change anyone.
On a related note, don't try to change someone else. People only change when they WANT to change. as much as you want the other person to be happy with their job, their career, their relationships, it is up to them to make the change. That's not to say that you can't be supportive or offer opinions and suggestions, but in the end they have to do it, not you.

Be honest.
Sometimes the things you will say will, quite frankly, make people mad. You might as well have them be angry with you for your honest opinion and not for something that you think they want to hear.

Stand up for yourself.
Nobody in your adult life, and I mean NOBODY, will ever stand up for you 100%. People will always talk behind your back. It's in our nature. But when you know about it, stand up for yourself. No matter what is said make sure that everyone knows the truth about you.

Stand up for others.
Not everyone has the strength to do for themselves. It's okay to do it for them until they can find their strength.

Be kind.
It's been said that if you gathered a hundred people and everyone put their problems on the table, nobody would trade problems and everyone would walk away with their own and I tend to agree. Yes, you will have days (maybe even weeks) when you feel like the sky is falling. But that doesn't mean you have the right to treat others poorly. Everyone's problems are their reality and even if they seem happy on the outside, their world could be crumbling behind closed doors. So be kind. Be generous when you can. Not just with your money, but with your time, with your patience, with your love.

Trust your gut.
Even when the decision seems right in your mind or your heart, listen to your gut. It will never steer you wrong.

Have faith.
Even when everything is falling apart around you, have faith. It could be faith in your family, in your friends, in your spouse, in God. You will get through it.

Know you are loved.
People will come and go in your life. The people who leave will go not because of who you are but because of who they are. Those who are meant to be in your life will be there, no matter what.

1 comment:

  1. Totally agree - especially with the BE YOU section! I've done that too and in the end - I'm still just me, no matter who I tried to be for whoever else.