Monday, July 16, 2012

The second time around

You would think that after having the first child, that the second would be easy. You'd remember all the tricks of the trade so to speak. Yeah, no so much.

Some of it I think was my brain protecting me. Like forgetting about having the catheter after you give birth. But there are also more day-to-day things like I've forgotten to check to make sure I have diapers and wipes with me. A change of clothes for the kid in case there's an extra bad diaper or food everywhere. A bib. Toys to occupy the baby.

Today, as I sat at my dining room table trying to feed baby D his dinner, I realized that I don't have the slightest clue what I tried feeding his big sister as her first foods. I actually broke out some of my parenting books to try and jog my memory. Of course, she is a super picky eater so I'd like to try and correct that this time around.

So far we've tried Cheerios (hates them), grapes (so-so), apples (so-so), pineapple (so-so), fries (loves), chicken nuggets (loves), ice cream (loves), yogurt (loves), pancakes (nope), broccoli (nope), plain pasta (likes), and rice (so-so).

What am I not remembering????

Friday, July 13, 2012

Don't take it personally

I've heard that phrase a lot recently, mostly in regards to my daughter. As I've mentioned before, she is really acting out with her father being deployed. Part of the acting out is saying awful things to me and doing things she knows she shouldn't do. Here are some examples from yesterday alone:

- I don't want to live with you. I want to live with... (grandma, aunt/uncle, nana, etc)
- You're a bad mommy
- You don't love me all the time
- This house is yucky and it's your fault
- But it didn't hurt, he's not crying (in response to being yelled at for hitting her brother with a toy)
- You're mean, you won't play with me (not true btw)

Then there were the countless times she pushed or hit her brother, stuck her tongue out at me or misbehaved in some other way.

Her bad behavior is making me act like an abused spouse. When I hear her call me, I involuntarily cringe. When she starts in on me about whatever, I sit there and take it. I cry quietly in the bathroom. I count the hours until she goes to bed.

Deep down, I know that it's not me. She's reacting to this incredibly difficult situation and she's frustrated because she can't change it. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. All I can do is keep surviving and hope that today things are different.