Friday, July 13, 2012

Don't take it personally

I've heard that phrase a lot recently, mostly in regards to my daughter. As I've mentioned before, she is really acting out with her father being deployed. Part of the acting out is saying awful things to me and doing things she knows she shouldn't do. Here are some examples from yesterday alone:

- I don't want to live with you. I want to live with... (grandma, aunt/uncle, nana, etc)
- You're a bad mommy
- You don't love me all the time
- This house is yucky and it's your fault
- But it didn't hurt, he's not crying (in response to being yelled at for hitting her brother with a toy)
- You're mean, you won't play with me (not true btw)

Then there were the countless times she pushed or hit her brother, stuck her tongue out at me or misbehaved in some other way.

Her bad behavior is making me act like an abused spouse. When I hear her call me, I involuntarily cringe. When she starts in on me about whatever, I sit there and take it. I cry quietly in the bathroom. I count the hours until she goes to bed.

Deep down, I know that it's not me. She's reacting to this incredibly difficult situation and she's frustrated because she can't change it. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. All I can do is keep surviving and hope that today things are different.

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