The last time I had a best friend, I was a senior in high school. Since then I’ve come to the realization everyone has coupled off without me. I’m not talking about finding “the one” and getting married. I’m talking about BFFs. That one person you can call day or night to share a laugh, vent to, or make last minute plans. Some people say that is the same as the person you marry, but sorry, I need a life outside of my marriage too (Sorry honey, I still love you!).
I’ve thought and overthought about this for years on end and tonight, after an especially stressful week, I found myself in my kitchen wanting to call my BFF for comfort except there’s nobody to call.
Is it because I have moved so many places as a military spouse that old bonds were broken? Have my closest friends outgrown me? Did I outgrow them? Maybe I’m just not BFF material even though I feel like I am. I think those who know me IRL would say they could call me for a favor or advice or whatever they may need and know I would be there for them. I’ve offered to help friends financially due to their own financial hardship, traveled for deaths in the family, coordinated gifts when someone had a baby or needed a pick-me-up. But friendship isn’t a one-way street, especially when it is someone you are supposed to be a best friend.
And so here I sit. The keyboard warrior, wondering where I went wrong. Why on a night like tonight I can’t think of anyone to call (who I’m not related to) to share my frustrations and who I know will not only answer the phone, but will listen, understand, and help me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Come to think of it, maybe my husband is my BFF afterall.
